Im becoming a more understanding person all around. I get that nobody will put their life on pause for you and check up on you. You have to be the one to get up and take control of your mood, your situation and your future. Ive also come to the realization that you cannot force nobody to have the same feelings as you do. Forcing them to reciprocate the same affection you give or actions is absurd. They will have their own reasons and logics for why they think and feel what they should do and who they should do it with. If you arent that person then what else is there to do besides get a grip and move on. Now that was a lesson i did have to learn over the majority of the year. If they wanted to they would. I wasnt chosen and it hurt and broke me a little bit but it did humble me for the better and now looking back at the situation .. I was love bombing looking stupid because it was all one sided. But ill never be a hater. Thats something you gotta remember. Never get too deep and never hate them for not feeling the same. Pick the signs up and ask. Be outspoken. Get your answers you stay up late thinking about. Its better than overthinking and killing your own sanity. But as i was saying , always route from the bleachers if your cant be on the sidelines with 'em. With that being said im pretty sure im done with that chapter for good. Even onto the next year. A friendship would be lovely but how can i be friends with someone i wanted to know and love. So i think for my own sanity and wellbeing. Im done.